Another Halloweeny Post

Another Halloweeny Post
(Just because it's my third favorite holiday)

Someone shared this link and after trying it a few times, I decided I was too immature to use it. Bored at work? Carve your own pumpkin. It's safe to open, unless you're like me and start drawing the pumpkin doing things no pumpkin was ever meant to do.

Geo dressed up in his costume to go to work. It's a vampire costume he uses every year, and every year I have to go on a scavenger hunt to find the various pieces. You'd think by now I would have learned to put it all together in the same place. I don't though, even now parts of it are probably in three different rooms. I think part of me enjoys the frantic, October 30th rush. Speaking of October 30, remember that whole I-forget-birthdays thing? It's not limited to friends. So to my darling little sister, who turned 25 even though in my mind she's frozen forever at 13, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEAH!!!

Back to Geo, he went to work in his vampire costume and ran around all day fixing computers and saying things like "I can't believe I quit my night job for this." Hee. That guy makes me laugh. He told me that some woman stopped him and said rather flirtatiously, "Where were you last weekend when I needed my vampire?" And he didn't realize she was being flirty and answered her seriously. Poor Geo, I think he's lost his game. In a past life he would have been like "I'm not busy tonight. I can start at your neck and work my way down." Just kidding, Geo doesn't use cheesy come-on lines, I just like to think of them. Do you have any vampire in you? Would you like some?

After he got home from work, we headed over to my cousin's house in South Jersey. She has three kids and lives in an area where the homes don't have bars on the window and the day cares don't have fences wrapped in barbed wire. When we got to her house there was some drama going on because her oldest son forgot his Yoda costume at school, so she was trying to make him one. She took a bed sheet, cut out holes for the eyes and mouth, then put it over his head. It was pointy at the top. Geo and I took one look at him and just about died trying not to laugh. My cousin didn't get the joke but the southern part of Central Jersey has a large KKK membership. In some towns we don't even stop for gas, just in case. And here goes our little Filipino nephew running around in a big white sheet. Incidentally, there's another group of people who have ruined Halloween with their political agendas. Kids can't dress up as ghosts anymore without making people uncomfortable. My point is, my cousin thankfully busted out a Hulk mask at the last minute.

We took the kids trick-or-treating, and for a moment I felt bad for the kids we'd seen in Jersey City before we left. Suburban homes don't skimp on the candy. Not that there were many running around in JC, I left candy for my aunt to give out while we were gone but no one came. After the last house, we were walking back to my cousin's when a woman stopped us to oooh and aaah over the girls. She ran back to her vehicle (she and some guy were towing a car out of some driveway) and started digging around in her purse. I was wondering if she was going to give them a Trident or something when she came back and stuffed a dollar in each of their pails. Hysterical. You know, those kids are a gold mine.

When we got back to the house, my nephews wanted to engage in some candy negotiation. I came away with the lighter pail. Those kids would be monsters in the board room. It was like "I'll give you this questionable piece of generic candy the size of my fingernail for that Snickers and that Almond Joy." Only not in those exact words.

Later on that night, after everyone slept, I turned on the TV to see if any Halloween specials were on. I'm not kidding you, I love this holiday. I found a South Park episode modeled after the old Scooby Doos, with guest stars Korn. There was this one part where the gang was under attack by ghost pirates and Korn went "Powers of Korn activate" (different word though) and became various forms of corn -- corn on the cob, popcorn, a bowl of creamed corn. Then the corn just sat there and did nothing for a few moments, before they turned back. Seriously, I was fricken crying. If I were even more self-absorbed than I already am, I would think that the Gods of Comedy Central made that episode just for me. It even had an Antonio Banderas blow up doll in it. Exactly like the one in my clos-- never mind. Just pretend this post ended three sentences ago.

Sorry people, no pics yet. I forgot to charge my camera battery and had to use one of those ghetto ass disposable cameras.