1. First and foremost, Geo had to take my grandmother to the emergency room after a bad fall and subsequent head injury (she's going to be okay). They thought they may have to operate but the CAT scan showed the injury wasn't as bad as we thought it was, and hopefully will heal fine. Which is amazing considering how fragile she is, at the age of 83. So if you have any spare positive thoughts laying around, send them her way. (Thanks Marichelle, Wilzig Hospital rocked!)
2. Just when you thought Britney fucking Spears couldn't get any more stupid...
"Don't hate me because I'm an idiot."
SHE PROVES YOU WRONG. Yes, that is Britney Spears driving with her newborn baby in her lap down Pacific Coast Highway. But I'm not surprised by her actions, which is sad in itself. I like how the dumb broad blames the paparazzi. Yes, they can be pretty pushy and aggressive (as if I know from experience) but I would think her fear of "danger" would lead her to make sure her baby was strapped into his carseat. What happened to Princess Diana shouldn't make her want to flee instead of strapping her son in. That's like learning you should pick up strippers from Hugh Grant.
3. I missed most of 24 last night, because by the time I calmed down from worrying over my grandma it was almost over. If anyone wants to pinch hit their thoughts on the episode I'd be much obliged. I did randomly see The Hobbit get punked and Curtis put in yet another scene as "The Black Guy Who Doesn't Die First, Second, Third or Fifty-Ninth" and some Russian chick shoot a guy. But I don't really know why.
I did however check that site with the Jack Bauer facts and they have a few new ones:
- If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says it's beef. Then it's fucking beef.
- Jack Bauer makes onions cry.
- When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
- If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
- Jack Bauer removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Jack Bauer never needs to escape.
- Jack Bauer has never actually had to count to three, ever.
- In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the fuck have you done with your life?
4. FINALLY!!!!!!!!!! Justice League: Season One and Batman Beyond: Season One are coming to DVD next month. WOO-HOO!!!! I haven't been this excited since McDonald's introduced its Dollar Menu.
5. Speaking of comics, congrats to Ignatius who won a Best of Blogs award for his comic strip "Dead Guy. The Cartoon."
6. I liked the Super Bowl commercials this year more than the past 3 combined. My favorite one was the "Hidden Bud Lights" commercial with the guy who builds a revolving wall to hide his fridge full of beer from his guests. Then they show the guys in the apartment next to his helping themselves to the beer and screaming "Hey guys the Magic Fridge is back!!" I so want a Magic Fridge. Actually, before I was a parent I had a Magic Fridge.
7. Mike J and I hit up Cheesecake Factory last week and...
Mike: So I saw this really hot blonde at Starbucks. She was in front of me in line.
Riss: Did you talk to her?
Mike: Well the thing is, we met up by the straws (??) and she handed me a couple and asked if I needed one more.
Riss: And...
Mike: But then I couldn't think of anything to say. It was two blocks back to my office and by the time I got there, I thought of something.
Riss: Which was?
Mike: I should have said "I only have two coffees but if you join me it'll be three counting yours."
Riss: Oh my God that is so fricken lame.
Mike: Yeah I know but it was the only thing I could come up with in two blocks.
Riss: You should have said "I'll be here at the same time tomorrow if you're free to hand me more straws." Then after you both laugh, ask her if she works nearby.
Mike: Dammit.
Riss (singing): I'm a better guy than you, I'm a better guy than you.
I have an inferiority complex though because my non-existent penis is "only" 6 inches long. It's got girth though. But apparently, having a huge dick is not all that it's cracked up to be. By the way, I found that link because someone found my site by doing a Google Blogsearch on "huge penis."
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