May 27, 2006

Stuff Part 348975

Stuff Part 348975

1. There's an actual conference for women bloggers, every year. I would go except that I'm already booked. I have several conferences already that weekend, one for Filipino bloggers, one for Chinese bloggers, one for short bloggers, one for 29-year-old bloggers, one for mothers of twins bloggers, one for hungry bloggers, one for bloggers addicted to Guitar Hero and one for bloggers whose index toe is longer than their big toe. It's going to be a very busy, very empowering weekend. Already I feel empowered. Power power power. No longer will I be held back from my full potential by white bloggers, tall bloggers, older bloggers, father bloggers, gastronomically satisfied bloggers, bloggers who aren't addicted to Guitar Hero and bloggers with toes of a proper length. Roar.

2. I didn't care about the Dixie Chicks before their "controversial" comments and I don't care about them now. But I did end up reading this article about them because I clicked on some random headline "Chicks move past incident." The only thing that stuck out about the article is that though I sympathize with people who face infertility, it's a tad creepy how rich people can buy twins or even triplets as a result of in-vitro fertilization. It's as creepy as those geneticists who say they can pick your baby's hair and eye color to be whatever you want. The notion of practicality though usually outweighs the creepy factor in science. But not always, or doctors would be harvesting organs from people in comas like it's nobody's business.

Speaking of twins, some doctors did a study and their conclusion is that vegans are less likely to have twins. Isn't that the most useful study ever? It's good they're not spending the money used for that study on something frivolous, like a cure for Alzheimer's or cancer.

3. X3 was enjoyable, but then again I'm not one of those people that needs a comic book-adaptation movie to stay true to the comic. As long as it's entertaining, it's all good. Comics have complicated and often conflicting storylines. It's not as simple as turning a regular book into a movie. No one wants to see a 3895792348 jillion hour movie. Besides, Marvel and Fox already dealt the harshest blow years ago by casting Halle Berry as Storm. There is no way they could ever make an even worse mistake than that. That was like casting Rosie O'Donnell as a Playboy playmate. It's understandable that movie makers want to please the average moviegoer as well as comic book fans, but that move was just ridiculous. I was expecting X3 to be better though.

4. I haven't managed to complete more than 50 pages of my manuscript, but someone else out there has managed to write a book entitled "Is Menstruation Obsolete?" The answer apparently, is yes. I think the end goal is to find a way to skip pregnancy altogether. You just put in your request at the clinic and get your Chia Baby. Add water and watch it grow.

5. Many people have a bit of hypochondria, including myself, but imagine having a disease that makes you feel like insects are crawling BENEATH your skin. Ick. One of the symptoms of the "mystery disease" is that people have a "brain fog" which prevents them from paying attention to things. That sounds very similar to the mystery disease Tom Hanks had in Joe Versus The Volcano, a "brain cloud."

6. Me and Geo have been playing the "You know why you're gay" game from The 40-Year-Old Virgin.

Guy: You know how I know you're gay?
Other Guy: Why?
Guy: Because you like Coldplay.
Other Guy: You know how I know you're gay?
Guy: Why?
Other Guy: Because you liked that movie Maid in Manhattan.

Tony got Geo the best though. He said, "You know how I know you're gay?" Then handed him my purse and said "Because you're holding that purse." Ahhh, but the question is, why was Tony holding it in the first place? By the way, I really like the movie Maid in Manhattan. Were it possible for me to feel shame, I would be choking on it right now. It's just that Ralph Fiennes is pretty damn hot.

E-mail from Geo: "You know how I know you're gay? Because you do pilates. Damn, this doesn't work as well with women."

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