I Love Thanksgiving

I Love Thanksgiving

If you're one of those "blah blah the Pilgrims blah blah the Indians blah blah massacre blah blah" people then you should probably move on since this entry will make you want to choke on your tofu burger.

Here's why Thanksgiving is my second favorite holiday:

1. We'll start with the most obvious and that is THE FOOD. This year Geo is making his usual turkey marinated in some random concoction he got off one of Emeril's shows, garlic mashed potatoes, red/orange/yellow peppers and onions sauteed in a buttery sauce, stuffing, asparagus with hollandaise sauce and I'm going to toss in a request for deviled eggs. YUM. I would put out pretty easily for deviled eggs. Although I don't know how it could get any easier than his moving to my side of the bed.

2. Football. All day. Like it's Sunday, but not. Football on Thanksgiving Day gives me that feeling you get, when you take a Wednesday off for a doctor's appointment or something, and then you have the rest of the day free to putz around while everyone else is at work.

3. Family. Sure everyone has random issues with their families but at least on this particular occasion people are somewhat shamed into acting on their best behavior. I don't have any issues with my immediate family though. If I could have my mom, dad, sister and her husband and baby here with me tomorrow I'd be the happiest person in the entire world.

4. Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I don't really like parades. I could care less about floats. I don't even really watch it on TV. What I do like is the reminder of how much I liked parades as a kid, and how every Thanksgiving I used to watch the entire thing, from my sunny home in California. I think all the random holiday programs from my childhood should be shown forever. It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. Yogi Bear's First Christmas. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. It's A Wonderful Life. Miracle On 34th Street. These movies should be shown every holiday season for at least a few centuries. Along with The Sound of Music and How The Grinch Stole Christmas.

5. Presents. Yeah, you read that right I get presents on Thanksgiving. One present is kinda big and shaped like a turkey. It stays in the oven until it's ready to be opened. Another present is round and covered with whipped cream. It has a flaky crust. Another present is yellow and garlicky. Yet another present makes my pee smell like rust. See? PRESENTS!!!

6. I don't do a single thing on Thanksgiving, just sit around and play with my kids. Geo does ALL the cooking. Me and the girls mess around and watch football in the living room. Sometimes we play it, and by play it I mean I tell them to go long and then deliberately pelt them with the Nerf football and we all laugh maniacally. Then we eat turkey.

7. Black Friday rocks. Yes, I'm one of those nutjobs that stays up all night and stands in line in the freezing cold. This year I don't even have any large purchases planned, I'm just tagging along with Janelle. She wants to hit up about 6 stores from about 3am until we drop from exhaustion. I have a stockpile of crack that I've been saving up for the last 4 months just for this day. Okay so I don't, but I will be filling up my backpack with Red Bulls and Snickers bars. And some mace. Those Black Friday shoppers are crazy. Not me though.

8. Just like Halloween is awesome because it tells you Thanksgiving is right around the corner, Thanksgiving is fun because it means Christmas is right around the corner. And I loooooooooove Christmas. I'll tell you guys why next month.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!! MAY YOUR DAY BE FILLED WITH ALL THE GOOD "F"s: FAMILY, FUN, FOOD, FOOTBALL AND FUC----. WELL, YOU KNOW. ONLY THE BEST FOR YOU GUYS.