February 2, 2005



1. If I were to design my own house from the ground up, I'd want an outdoor bathroom. Not an outhouse, but an actual bathroom with actual fixtures, but located outside. Like on a balcony. And I'd want it to be made of marble and I guess stainless steel. And in case of bad wind, there could be some sort of heavy fabric that rolled down to provide some coverage from the elements. I mean come on... picture it... wouldn't it be cool to sit on the toilet outside? Watching the sunlight on the rolling hills... hearing the sound of birds chirping... feeling the warm breeze waft over your privates while listening to Delibes' Flower Duet aria from Lakme. No seriously. Wouldn't that be lovely?

2. What is the definition of "metrosexual?" I always thought it referred to straight men who dressed nicely but The Ho refers to them as "latte-sippers" which encompasses behavior not just appearance. I'm a fan of the metrosexual trend with regards to men's clothing (except that pepto-bismol pink that's all over the men's section at Macy's) but that might just be because I'm shallow and metrosexual men tend to be stylish AND good-looking. And only on guys that can pull it off. There's nothing worse than a guy who thinks he's hot enough to be metrosexual and totally isn't (for example Donald Trump and his pink ties).

3. I consider myself a decent multi-tasker but it's kind of hard to blog and play on my Gameboy at the same time. The stupid Puzzle Fighter gems keep landing in the wrong spots. And if Ryu says "Don't tell me. You only know how to play fighting games" to me one more time I'll have to postpone this post to serve up some serious puzzle ass-whooping.

4. Can someone please get me this White Castle shirt for my next birthday? I'll get you one for your birthday too but it's not really a shirt you get for yourself is it. I'm a size small. Thanks.

5. I haven't seen Paul since October so we've been making plans too hook up with our families for about a month now. Problem is, I want to do lazy, indoor things and he wants to strap our kids onto our backs and go hiking through the snow or something. Did I mention I just don't *do* cold? I put on faux fur just to walk from the car to the restaurant door when it's 30 outside.

Geo: So what's the game plan?
Me: I don't know. This is the thing with having white friends. They can't ever just chill. Everything has to be "extreme." Like extreme shopping when it's 15 below.
Geo: Extreme picnicking.
Me: Exactly.

Of course, Paul jumps out of perfectly good airplanes for fun so it's to be expected that we would have difficulty finding entertainment common ground that doesn't involve liquor.

6. Kat stopped by on Monday night to drop off supercute Christmas gifts for the girls. I like this even better than gifts on Christmas morning because it spreads it out. Thanks Kat!!! Mike J messaged me to say he was stopping by to give me my Groundhog Day present. Yes, you read that correctly. I don't know how the tradition started but every year Mike gets me a Groundhog Day gift. I think one year he got me a flask because he said no self-respecting alcoholic went anywhere without one.

7. I can't do America Idol audition recaps anymore. It's like shooting fish in a barrel.

8. How come those strip thingys are everywhere now? They started off as Listermint strips right? Now they're used for breath fresheners, cold medicines, sore throat medicines... soon Prozac, Viagra and cheeseburgers are going to come in little strips that melt and stick to the inside of your mouth like melted cellophane.

1:26 a.m. edit: Okay here's my Groundhog Day gift! Mike rocks!!!

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