Random Thoughts Volume 9464569

Random Thoughts Volume 9464569

1. I polished off our bottle of Hennessy last night. Don't even remember where it came from. Liquor seems to magically appear in our cupboards. I have the best cupboards in the entire world.

2. Thanks people, for adding your witty, obscene, valuable, useless, supportive, rude, congenial, whatever thoughts here. I went back to my Star Wars post from May 2005 and noticed the comments were set to zero, when I know I joined Haloscan around January. Apparently the comments are still there, but after an account has a certain number of comments, the older posts stop showing the number. It's kind of fun to know the comments are there behind the zero. Like I have a secret that only me and um, thousands of other people are privy to.

3. My friends like to come over and play with all the kids' toys around. Our living room looks like romper room. At one point last night, everyone in the living room was playing with a toy, except the kids. Abel built a big cube out of styrofoam puzzle pieces and...

Me: Hey look it's the Borg. Okay... no Star Trek fans here I guess.
Abel: I laughed.
Me: Yeah but we're the only ones. What was it they used to say?
Tony: Resistance is futile.
Min: What you are guys are talking about.
Me: We must assimilate them into the collective.

Then me, Tony and Abel laughed ominously and everyone else just smiled uncomfortably. Gotta love geek humor. Also, remember how I said that adults shouldn't be allowed to play with children's toys?

"Bless thee, all who come and worship here."

4. Toyota is getting desperate. In their Avalon commercials they are advertising wipers that "sense rain" and turn on by themselves. Hey that's not the height of laziness at all! Next will come toilet paper that senses your shit and wipes your ass for you. They even go so far as to say drivers will have an "extra fifth of a second to do whatever you want." So being that the average non-Pacific-Northwest person might turn their wipers on about 10 times a month, thanks Toyota, for that extra 24 seconds of free time annually. In the car.

5. During the previews of Harry Potter 4, they ran the trailer for Superman Returns and I got a bit too excited. You know me and comic book adaptation movies. I even enjoy MOST of the bad ones. I am especially glad they are re-doing the Superman comic. I watched one of the old ones a few weekends ago and was amused by how gay everything looked. No, I mean literally. I kept waiting for those two guy aliens in tights to tag-team Superman, while the butch alien molests a tied-up Lois Lane.

6. You know what's annoying? Fill-in-the-blank"adelic" and fill-in-the-blank"alicious." Really.

7. I like Steven Seagal. Including fat Steven Seagal. Even his bad movies can be fun because he breaks bones as a first option. None of this pansy "He's got a gun so I'm going to throw a barrel at him" bullshit. I know in real life he's rumored to be a complete loser but you know, an argument can be made that every single person on this earth is a loser. It's all perception. For example, Tom Cruise is one of the highest-paid actors in the world, if not THE highest paid. But he and his fellow Scientologists believe that "75 million years ago, an alien named Xenu ruled more than 76 planets, including Earth (known as Teegeeack), and tried to solve a population problem by blowing up beings on Teegeeack." See? Loser.