Conversations With My Three-Year-Old Twins
So we've had:
"Conversations With My Friends" and
"Conversations About Um, Literature" and
"Intellectual Conversations About Movies."
So I bring you...
A: Mommy, I want some cookies.
Me: You have to eat lunch first.
A: I don't want to.
Me: One of the fringe benefits to being a parent is the discretion to decide when to completely disregard your wants.
F: How about lollipops for lunch?
Me: You've never even eaten a lollipop, how do you know you'll like it?
F: How about a pizza lollipop?
Me: Okay, that works. Pizza on a fork it is.
Me: It's time for your bath.
F: I don't want a bath. NO!!!!!
Me: I'm not saying that you should focus on what other people think of you, but the case of hygiene is an exception. People don't like to be around people who don't bathe.
F (grinning widely): How about the phone take a bath.
Me: It's really too soon to joke about that sweetie. The trauma is still fresh.
A (putting her little hand up fiercely): Swiper, no swiping!!!
Me: Honey, she's not doing anything.
A: She wants to take it.
Me: Maybe, but you can't preemptive swiper-no-swiping. It's considered rude.
F: More goldfish crackers please.
Me: You still have an entire handful. Finish those first.
F (cramming the entire fistful into her mouth then speaking): Okay, more?
Me: The banana is not a toy, you're supposed to eat it.
A: It's not a banana, it's a puzzle.
Me: So I see. And you've even put it back together again. After you finish with it then, can you eat it? Otherwise it's a waste.
A: Can't eat it, it's a toy not a banana.
Me: Angelina stop kicking your sister.
F: I didn't do anything!!
Me: I said Angelina. Is your name Angelina?
Me: No, you're Faith.
F: No, I'm Angelina.
Me: No, she's Angelina.
F: No, she's Faith.
Me: No, you're Faith, she's Angelina.
F (yelling but laughing at me): No, YOU'RE Angelina!!!!
A: She pushed me!!
Me: No she didn't.
A: She did!!!
Me: Well technically, the definition of pushing is to exert enough force to potentially send someone or something into motion. So touching you doesn't qualify as pushing.
A: See, Mommy said don't push me.