Random Thoughts Volume 983434546

Random Thoughts Volume 983434546

1. The Burger King commercial for their new omelette sandwich sounds like a gay porn preview. Coming soon to a gay moviehouse near you... "Say hello to the meat-normous sandwich... meat on top of meat on top of meat."

2. I know you think it's too late but it's not too late to fill out the Reader Poll! Remember, if you don't fill it out then... uh, you won't fill it out. *ominous music*

3. I have decided to start posting more, everyone else seems to be on hiatus so I want to be on anti-hiatus. Not certain when that will actually come to fruition though. I have several things at the moment that I'm procrastinating on (selling things on ebay, a few short stories, organizing the hall closet) so I hesitate to add to the list. Plus I'm going to do that whole National Write A Book In One Month You Lazy Fucks thing. I decided that the only way I will ever finish an actual manuscript is if I set some unlikely goal which would cause my pride to kick in and force me to labor. Of course, it would help if my 2-year-old twins got with the program as well. They won't suffer psychological damage if I neglect them for a month will they? "Here's your cereal, eat that now. Over there in the corner is some pasta, eat that in about 3 hours. Afterwards, have some grapes. And if you get thirsty, I put water in those bowls."

4. Last night before I went to sleep, I had the TV turned on to Frasier. I love that show, it has such great dialogue. So today, when I turned the TV back on, it was on channel 11 still and Jerry Springer was on. My daughters walked over and started yelling "uncle" and I looked at the show and a gay guy and a trannie were screaming at each other onstage. I don't know which of their uncles they thought it was. I got locked in for a few minutes, there was just no helping it. The gay guy was a skinny little Spanish kid who cracked me up because he kept ripping the trannie's wig off and throwing it into the crowd. Then the trannie would run backstage to fix it and come back out again. Daytime television sucks. Except the cartoons of course. My two favorite daytime cartoons are Jimmy Neutron and Rockzilla. I say "my" because I can't even try to play it off, my kids don't watch them at all.

5. I keep dreaming about being in Santa Cruz again. I'm never actually a college student, just living at the campus like it's a condo community. Last night I dreamt I was living in the dorms with a bunch of people and... vikings attacked. I SWEAR TO GOD. They came rowing over in their longboats and at one point I was swimming alongside them underwater, trying to remain undetected. Funny though how sometimes reality interrupts dreams. In the dream I walked into the dorm to play Hold 'Em and a bunch of people were watching football on TV. I asked which game it was and they said "Green Bay versus Baltimore." And I said "What? I thought they had a bye week. That's why we picked up Eli Manning for our fantasy team." Anyway, the vikings attacked us (actual vikings, not the Minnesota Vikings) and we had to run around and fight them. At one point I told them we had to call in The Terminator or something. Craziness. There was also a little foreplay (after the football but prior to the invasion) but no actual sex because as we all know, I don't get some in my dreams. My dreams suck.

6. I'm in a really good mood today. I think it's because it's fall, my favorite time of the year. Here comes Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas all in a row... WOOT!!