Gooey, Chewy Love and 24: Hour Six

Gooey, Chewy Love and 24

Chewy has been spreading his love like Wookie genital warts. In the past 24 hours me and everyone else linked on Nolff's Chewbacca Blog have gotten numerous hits (his blog was in Maxim and some other site), from people presumably searching for more Chewy stuff. They dig around the blog a bit and I feel like people came over my house and I have nothing to offer them except tap water, Jack Daniels or mustard. So I went digging and here are my last few posts that have anything to do with Star Wars. Not half as good as Chewy's blog but beggars can't be choosers right.

More Scenes From Star Wars Episode 15
All For A Nice Pair Of Naboobs
My New OCD

Anakin says: "May My Force Be In You. And On You." Now on to our regularly scheduled programming.

24: Hour Six

1. I literally had a bit of throw-up in the back of my throat during that whole scene with Jack and Farm Mom about whether or not he still loved Audrey aka Nostrils. Of course Jack still loves her. She has more accomodating orifices than the average woman. He can do her orally, vaginally, anally or nostrilly. By the way, what's with the good-bye break-up kiss? I've never had an ex kiss me after dumping him. They've thrown shit at me, cursed at me, walked away or tried to get in one last bang, but none of them have ever kissed me good-bye. Jack IS the man.

2. Is it too much to hope that if Jack isn't returning to the farm, we'll never see the Annoying Son ever again? They were overdoing it on the Jack-ruffling-the-boy's-hair scenes. That boy hadn't washed his hair for weeks and that was BEFORE he was covered in sweat and snot for a few hours, while a hostage.

3. The writers of 24 really are sadistic. No, this isn't about the torture interrogation methods, but rather their need to make viewers sit through yet another season of Nostrils making inappropriate "Let's talk about our relationship" calls when Jack is trying to hunt down terrorists in a timely fashion. Come to think of it, that may be the one indicator that Nostrils is perfect for him. Didn't his douche bag of a daughter Kim Bauer do that to Chase all the time too?

4. The First Lady and the Dumb Asian Agent never had the "How did Walt find out the transcript was in my bra" conversation. Hopefully when the President is out taking his leisurely walk by the grassy knoll, that agent will be the one covering him.

5. Of course the President gets played by Walt. Pussy. President Palmer would have had him bent over the desk. When Jack threatened to cut out Walt's eyes Tony and Geo let out a cheer, but I stayed quiet because I knew it wasn't going to happen. Those pansy politician types always talk. No point in getting the hopes up.

6. The Hobbitt still bugs, but at least he makes decent decisions (so far). Even if Chloe could get a manicure and alphabetize her CDs in the time it takes him to make a decisions. Just kidding. Please. Chloe doesn't even brush her hair, much less get a manicure.

7. President Logan is still an idiot but at least he's smart enough to realize that he needs Jack out in the field, finding the nerve gas. When Logan went to kiss is wife all better ("Sorry I almost had you shipped to a loony bin sweetheart") we all laughed out loud when she did that girl-move-away-from-the-kiss-in-a-huff thing. That move is one of the things they teach you in Female School.

8. The first half hour of the show was a tad slow, without the usual tense build-up. It wasn't as bad as "Charlie and the Floating Baby Dreams" in Lost but it was close.